got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
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Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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