Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
I skipped work to stalk him.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
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