Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
When did angry sex become our thing?
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
