haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Randomize
