I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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