I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
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