I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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