...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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