What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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