Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
We need to get me chipped asap
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
