i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Randomize
