Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
love makes seman taste better
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I will be naked everywhere
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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