And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize