just come out here and I will go home with you...
Say something about gay babies.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize