if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
