I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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