every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
