I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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