drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
FUCK WHALES
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
