Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
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