just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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