I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this will be a night to untag.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Randomize