Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
