thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
