My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
