you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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