My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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