the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize