He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
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