Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
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