its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
