dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize