we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
