Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Randomize
