coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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