The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Randomize
