You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
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