she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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