There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Randomize
