I wanna bring you to show and tell
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
