How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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