mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
