did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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