he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
