No awkward lesbian experiences without me
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
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