so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You pole danced in your parka.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
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