Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
This is my gift to your gina
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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