the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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