4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize