you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Randomize
