i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
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