Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
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