So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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