what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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