I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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