How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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